Please follow How To Create SQL Server 2008/2005 Database In WebsitePanel Control Panel?.
Please follow How To Get The IP and Connection String for My Hosted SQL Server Databases?
You need to use SQL Server Management Studio 2005 SP3 or 2008 to manage your 2008 databases. Here is a free one SQL Server Management Studio Express . Please always specify IP address and port number in "Server name" box.